Bad Expensive Food Returns to Central Park

Tavern on the Green, New York restaurant recently shuttered by the economic downturn known as the Great Depression 2, uh, we mean the Great Recession, which is now, uh, over, except for it isn't, is now open again (except it really isn't)! The landmark restaurant, which was famous for good atmosphere and bad everything else, reopened this week as a visitor center*, with a food court surrounded by street vendors - not your old fashioned roach-ridden street vendors, mind you, but new, fancy, roach-ridden gourmet (read: expensive) vans! "Dis veggie boiga ain't too bad" said Jo Syboy, a long time-frequenter of the old restaurant, who returned out of curiosity to try the new venue, adding "but it's gonna take me some time to get used to the good soivice." It shouldn't take him too long to get used to the prices, though: $9.50 for that aforementioned sammich.

*People can also sign up for Central Park "nature tours" at the visitor center, but no word yet if tours include gas-masks to avoid the nature of hobo urine.