Glenn Beck Apologizes For Misguided Bigotry

New York - Under the guise of apologizing to the entire Jewish community yesterday, Glenn Beck apologized to his radio audience as he had to make them doubt his racial hatred yet again.

In an effort to keep comparing billionaire philanthropist George Soros to Al Quaeda for some reason, Beck took it upon himself on his Tuesday radio show to tell his audience that Reform Judaism can be compared to radical Islam. 

Pretending he forgot to read Wikipedia, but in reality, in making an effort to not have to bend over and kiss his fanny goodbye because his boss is a close friend with the chairman of the Jewish Anti-Defamation League, Beck told his audience:

"I've always told you to do your own homework.  And, in this case, I didn't do enough homework."  He further added that he might have made "one of the worst analogies of all time"

Unsolicited Drivel asked one loyal Beck fan for comment about the controversy and apology and he said, “He’s right, he didn’t check the Wikipedia.  Reform Judaism means the ‘progressive,’ more modern Jews.  And I don’t see anything progressive about guys who think they can bomb away their detractors because Allah said they’d get to bang 72 virgins if they do.  So, even if Soros didn’t think George W. Bush was a progressive too, it doesn’t make him the same as Al Quaeda.  Besides, them Al Quaedaers hate the Jews.  And speaking of Jew haters, if Glenn is really serious about trying to maintain his audience by making sketchy comparisons, he better keep it on the level of equating Obama with Hitler.”