Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Baldwins to Divorce Over Mistaken Identity

Los Angeles – Former “Homicide” star, Daniel Baldwin, has filed for divorce after having to get a restraining order against his wife when she realized she’d married the wrong Baldwin brother.

A judge gave Daniel the restraining order and temporary custody of the couple’s two kids after he made allegations that wife Joanne had problems with drugs and alcohol.  However, there was no mention of any identity crisis during in the courtroom proceedings.

Pals of the future ex-Mrs. Baldwin say they were not surprised.  One of them even told us, “I’m surprised it took Joanne this long.  When she married him back in 2007, she thought he was Alec. Granted, Alec usually bangs a Kim Basinger-level hot chick, but Joanne was pretty wasted through her and Daniel's entire courtship.  Then by the time she sobered up enough to figure out which brother he was, she was pregnant.  I give her credit for sticking it out until now.  I mean, I think she probably would have been okay with skinny psycho-killer looking Baldwin brother, or the loopy, conservative Jesusy one, but she never signed on to hook up with the Zeppo one.”

5 comments so far :

Crappo Baldwin said...

Leave my brothers alone!

Turdo Baldwin said...

I'm glad they're splitting up, I never liked her.

Iritablebowelo Baldwin said...

I am saddened by his loss. Anyone have her phone number?

Eric Cantor said...

I am saddened by his loss. Anyone have his number?

John Boner said...

Eric, get back in the room with Obama, dammit

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