Is Wikileaks the New Al Quaeda?

Washington, DC – Terrorism: it’s not just for swarthy guys in need of man-scaping who read the Quran anymore…at least according to one Republican Congressman from New York.

Just prior to Wikileaks' huge classified U.S. document dump yesterday, Rep. Peter King, the incoming chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, was insisting that Wikileaks be considered a "foreign terrorist organization" and it’s founder be considered its “ringleader.” King sent a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Eric Holder stating his view and made it clear that he considered the leaks of the sensitive, but NOT top secret information to be “worse than a military attack.” King also called for founder Julian Assange to be prosecuted under the Espionage Act and that his hair alone be considered an “unlawful combatant.”

King made no mention of the alleged “insensitive” information about other world leaders among the latest leaks, which allegedly included comments like:

“When the f#!k is Karzai going to get a new hat, and has he gotten his paranoia meds straight yet?”

“German chancellor Angela Merkel may be 'Telfon,' to her critics, but she’s still vulnerable under the influence of George W. Bush love rub.”

“Does Moammar Gadhafi's realize that ‘hot blond’ nurse he keeps bragging about banging is really a dude?”

"Did you hear?  Kim Jong Il gets his lifts from the same designer that does shoes for Tom Cruise.  He may even be holding him captive."

These, among many other insensitive leaks, are the real reason Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and others in the State Department are sending out emergency friend requests on Facebook to foreign leaders today to give them a renewed feeling of security.

Unsolicited Drivel wondered if Congressman King would truly be successful in his “GOP terrorist re-branding campaign," so we asked our usual, unnamed political analyst.  He told us:

“Just like those responsible for leaking the Pentagon Papers about the Vietnam War, Wikileaks is protected under the First Amendment, so I don’t believe Assange can be prosecuted as a terrorist. I’m a little surprised at King’s comments, considering the GOP’s huge efforts to stay in power over the last nine years revolved around creating hysteria among Americans every time they see someone who looks like they possibly could be Muslim. Julian Assange is a pasty-looking, white Australian guy.   How are narrow-minded, bigoted voters going to easily pick him out in a crowd and fear him due to mob psychology? Plus, this new GOP terror tactic would drive the Christian right crazy, because if Assange’s not a Muslim, they are totally screwed as they certainly aren’t going to burn the Bible and Jesus doesn't punch chads all by himself."