Prince William to Finally Wed?

London – Tina Brown, the biographer of the Princess of Wales, is reporting that Buckingham Palace has some dates blocked out for an upcoming mystery event.

Brown is speculating that June 3rd and June 4th have been cleared on the royals’ calendars for the BIG announcement that Prince William Arthur Beaufort William Philip Louis William Skywalker Frederic Cedric Arthur Wales Spencer Wales, or “Wills,” to you and me, will finally announce his engagement to Kate Middleton.  It is believed that the lovebirds could tie the knot in November, right before Wills is scheduled to begin his 3-year duty as a RAF search and rescue pilot at RNAS at Pukefort upon Cornwallis.

Unlike the splashy, June wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, the Prince is more likely to follow in the footsteps of Queen Elizabeth, and have a wedding on a dreary, foggy, bone-chilling November day.  This would be in an effort to be respectful of the awful economic climate, as the serfs still have to fund the monarchy, whose duties include, but are not limited to – shaking hands.  The Queen even went so far as to take public transportation recently to make the point, “we’re all in this together, chaps,” as soon as her staff explained what public transportation was.

A Palace spokesperson declined to comment, but a future tell-all biographer, currently a butler, offered, “they’ve definitely cleared a wide mark of time.  And truth be told, the Queen’s nerves are a little on edge, as there is the fear that Prince Harry, not yet ready for the duty-bound royal life himself, might put a damper on the occasion with some explosive announcement of his own.  There are some that say he could possibly even debut a sex tape with him in a starring role romping with some porn star girl friends dressed as Nazis.”