Wednesday, July 27, 2011

GOP Goes to “Town” in Debt Ceiling Crisis With Ben Affleck Movie

We're going to hurt...Americans!
Washington, DC – As the default crisis looms on August 2nd, The Washington Post is reporting that GOP leadership played a clip from the Ben Affleck movie The Town in a meeting last night to rally support for Speaker Boehner’s budget plan.

In the clip, the bank robber played by Affleck tells his accomplice, “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later. And we’re going to hurt some people.”

While hurting American folks is nothing new to the Republican party (see: wars, pollution, siding with insurance companies, stripping social services, creating tax-cuts driving America into record-breaking deficits), we were still kind of surprised they would let it be known that they were using a violent movie about lawlessness as a motivator to get the job done instead of say, a Zig Zilar or Dale Carnegie tape.

Unsolicited Drivel reached out to an anonymous source on the Hill for comment who told us, “I was surprised too at their choice to reveal their plans for blatant thievery by screening The Town, but I’m sure my surprise was not nearly a great as Ben Affleck's as he's a very vocal critic of the right.  Of course, it’s not likely they will take Ben’s suggestion of using his movie The Company Men as an inspirational piece as it’s all about how they ruined the economy leading to an unprecedented number of lay-offs and Boehner’s new plan will likely create more poverty than the Great Depression and the current recession combined.  Anyhow, I’m just relieved considering some of the self-hating, sexually repressed ilk in our party that the media didn’t catch the actor’s GOP fans watching Jimmy Kimmel’s I’m F**cking Ben Affleck video instead."

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