Friday, September 23, 2011

Nicolas Cage Confirms He’s a Vampire

A Civil War era photo on eBay has been generating gossip for the last week or so about the possibility that actor Nicolas Cage is a vampire, and now Unsolicited Drivel can confirm for our readers that it is true.

A rep for the oddball actor told us, “Nic and I discussed the issue at length and he decided it was time to finally fess up to his fans about his being the undead.  He almost got exposed earlier this year anyway when a voodoo priestess in New Orleans recognized his aura, so we figured, what the heck?  You may ask, ‘hey, I thought vampires weren’t supposed to show up on film, so what gives?’  Well, Nic had plenty of family money before his acting career started and he paid a scientist to develop a potion he could take that would make him visible while filming.  I can’t believe it took you people this long to figure it out, but then again, his performance in Vampire’s Kiss was panned by critics.  But, he’s always wasting his money on collecting weird, creepy stuff and his one kid dresses like a goth.  So I am confirming for you once and for all that Nicolas Cage is definitely a vampire.  That’s also how he’s been able to sustain an immortal movie career bomb after action-filled bomb.”

1 comments so far :

SkipHopz said...

lol no doubt. this blog goes hard

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