Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Ben & Jerry’s Announce "Occupy Wall Street" Inspired Flavor

Vermont-based ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s has never made a secret of its left-leaning politics and now they are planning a new flavor in support of the Wall Street occupation.

A spokesperson for the ice cream maker told Unsolicited Drivel, "We know the media either ignores the protestors or only reports when they get pepper sprayed. They also complain that they don’t have a clear idea of what the movement is about.  That’s why we are planning to launch ‘Broken Dream$ Butter Crunch.’  Clearly, their message is that they will not be able to live the American dream thanks to our government putting the ‘too big to fail’ greedy, unscrupulous banks ahead of the needs of the average American citizen.  We thought about making a cayenne pepper flavored ice cream for the sake of irony, but we decided it would be about as appetizing as the notion of J.P. Morgan Chase buying the favors of the NYPD.  We’ve already infuriated the religious right with our ‘Schweddy Balls’ flavor, so we figured we get our digs in on the other half of the right – the rich people who don’t give a damn about the poor or even the middle class in this country.  The 1% wealthiest Americans may be thinking 'let them eat cake' in regard to the 'other 99%' protestors, but we’re thinking, let them eat ice cream!  At the rate the politicians are responding to their pleas for equality, the protesters are going to need the extra body fat to keep warm all winter during the occupations."

2 comments so far :

Joe the Dumber said...

I prefer "String em up by the shorthairs and while you're at it toss in all the rotten congress, supreme court and yes, the president too" cherry. But that's just me: I like cherry.

Anonymous said...

Protests work both ways.I'll never buy another pint of Ben & Jerrys

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