Steven Tyler Rendition of National Anthem Worst Thing to Happen to Pro Athletes Since Kardashian Sisters?

Foxboro, Mass – Professional athletes and sports fans agreed yesterday that American Idol judge and Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler’s rendition of the National Anthem was “the worst thing to happen to pro athletes since the Kardashian sisters hit puberty and started preying on them like malnourished sharks."  

One teammate, who asked not to be named, told Unsolicited Drivel, “It was pretty bad.  I mean you could mute the video and still tell by the look on the players’ faces. Flacco looked like he sat on a tack.  At least Christina Aguilera has boobs you can stare at for a distraction.  I mean Steven has boobs too, I’ve seen pictures of him at the beach, but they aren’t the hot kind.  But you know what?  I’d still have to say his singing probably wasn’t quite as bad as it would be catching a case of crabs from dating one of those hairy sisters that own the E! Channel.”

We have also learned exclusively that even the ghost of Jimi Hendrix weighed in on the controversial song rendition via Ouija board, stating he would have been more than happy to have offered a royalty-free usage of his instrumental version of the anthem to play to have drowned out Tyler’s singing as it could be heard all they way up to Heaven, and it was very distracting to the security detail that was trying to keep Joe Paterno out.