Washington, DC – A group of concerned citizens have taken up a collection to pay actor Clint Eastwood to stare at the Republican controlled Congress with disgust to make them more productive now that his own party hates him. Eastwood came under fire this week after he appeared in a Chrysler commercial touting the comeback of the auto industry that President Obama had bailed out. The person in charge of the group Stop Our Lawmakers From Merely Lining Their Pockets and Legislating Lady Parts told us, “Now that Clint makes them squirm because they think he’s a socialist, we think it would be a good idea for him to stand in the capitol building while they are in session and give them the old Gran Torino scowl. We figure they’ll be more cooperative because they don’t want to ‘make his day’ so to speak by being the usual assholes.”
Speaking from his toadstool underneath a bridge, Republican strategist Karl Rove had complained of the commercial, “The President of the United States is using our tax dollars to buy corporate advertising or something without the approval and machinations of my diabolical mind! That didn’t used to be tolerated.”
Eastwood, in a New York Times editorial response to Rove wrote, “Who gives a f*ck what that fat f*ck thinks?” He also stated he had become aware of the movement to have him intimidate the living shit out of Congress and he even offered to work for Actor’s Equity union scale.
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