Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Lindsay Lohan Can’t Find “Dick”

Los Angeles – Fading starlet Lindsay Lohan is said to be very unhappy with the casting choices presented to play Richard Burton in her upcoming TV movie biopic of Elizabeth Taylor, Liz and Dick.

Believing she had some sort of casting control, Lohan originally wanted Scottish actor Gerard Butler for the role of the cinema icon.  But Butler feared that he would forget who Lohan was even as he was banging her in her trailer and he declined the role.

So where does this leave the Lifetime Network when they are about to start shooting the film?  A production assistant told us exclusively, “We’re probably going to have to go with one of those dudes from either Gossip Girl or CSI.  It’s not the network’s fault that Lindsay can’t sit still long enough to watch an entire TV show to actually know who the actors are.  I don’t know why she thinks she has casting control over the Burton role anyway.  Would you believe she even wanted to move our efforts to Wales and launch a reality show called So You Think You’re a Dick? to find a co-star?!?”

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