Madonna to Gaga: You’re Not Me!

Tel Aviv – Aging pop superstar Madonna is apparently continuing to show her distaste publicly over younger upstart and alleged plagiarist Lady Gaga.  While rehearsing for her “You Got Stuck With My New Album Because You Bought Tickets to See Me Shake My Booty” tour, Madonna was filmed performing a mash-up of her song “Express Yourself” with Gaga’s “Born This Way” because she had previously complained that Gaga ripped off her 80s hit that she wrote to dupe gay men into liking her despite her not being on par with Liza or Barbra.  Madonna even went so far as to end the routine with the lyrics “you’re not me” repeated over and over. 

Unsolicited Drivel contacted Madonna’s carefully oiled P.R. machine about her catty display and they told us, “No, Lady Gaga is not Madonna. But Madonna was not criticizing her talent as a performer.  She was taking issue with Gaga’s shying away from making tabloid headlines. I mean, seriously!  How does Gaga plan to remain filthy rich well after she leaps past menopause in her platform heels unless she’s willing to sleep with guys whose balls haven’t dropped yet, or cross artistic genres when she shouldn’t to make films no one wants to see?”

When reached for comment about Madonna’s public swipe at the star, Lady Gaga’s camp told us, “No, Gaga is not comfortable with having her private life exposed constantly to her little monsters, as she is an artist first and foremost.  As far as remaining popular into her dry rot years, she’s not concerned.  You see she recently had brunch with Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney, and apparently Paul was so smitten with her because she actually writes her own music that he happily gave her the rights to legally change her name to Lady Madonna.”