Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Senator Ashley Judd?

Say good night Mitch!
It’s not as far-fetched as one might think. We at Unsolicited Drivel have been speculating for over a month now that actress and native Kentuckian Ashley Judd will be challenging Senator Mitch “My only goal is to make Obama a one-term president (translation: f*ck you, constituents!)" McConnell for his seat in 2014. We may have only discussed Ms. Judd’s impending candidacy with the voices in our head, but now it looks like we will be finding out very soon that we were spot on. That is unless Ashley’s more interested in taking out Senator Rand Paul’s toupee in 2016.

A pal of the actress told us, “I know what you are probably thinking…that Ash dropped off the radar because the ‘woman in jeopardy’ movie genre is not currently popular outside of Lifetime TV. But that’s not the case. In addition to being very active in political and human rights causes she cares about, she also earned a Master's Degree in Public Administration, or how to run shit so peoples’ lives don’t turn to shit, from Harvard. If she runs…and I am not saying she IS, she will probably be EXTREMELY unlikely to...

 - Have lax safety standards for coal mine owners and let them murder employees via negligence.

- Marry a stupid, greedy diva.  Not Virginia Thomas - she's Supreme Court Justice Clarence’s bat- shit wife! Elanie Chao is married Mitch. Ms. Judd is married to a super hot race car driver.

- Hate the idea of sick and injured kids having access healthcare if their families can’t donate to her campaigns because their parents are poor.

- Oppose investments in infrastructure to repair things like bridges so already impoverished workers have to be burdened with learning how to fly to get to work.

- Dry-hump lobbyists for cold hard cash for her campaign.

 - Lastly…act like she f*cking loathes her home state of Kentucky!!

So my guess is if Ashley does decide to run, that Senator Mitch McConnell will finally be turtle soup. Plus, if Ashley’s stuck filibustering on the Senate floor it might be an excuse to get out of going to her sister Wynonna’s next wedding. ”

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