Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Suri and the City: Christmas 2012 Version!

You better check my list TWICE Tommy Boy!
New York – Rumors are flying (probably only on that Just Jared dude’s gossip site) that Tom Cruise will be spending Christmas in New York with his daughter Suri.  This rumor comes hot on the heels of there being no photographic proof (?) of rumor about them spending the Thanksgiving holiday together in London last month.  However, we have come to believe that the movie action hero and his diva toddler WILL, in fact be together this Christmas.  We had a neighbor dig through Suri’s trash in Chelsea and they found a crumbled up to-do list.  The plan is by no means final, but this is how it went so far:

1) Sit on Santa’s lap at Macy’s (of all places) and belittle him loudly because his beard is synthetic in front of the clueless common kids.

2) See the NYC Ballet’s “The Nutcracker” provided they agree to have the dancer playing Clara wear a Suri mask.

3) Hold up the UN General Assembly’s holiday vacation by testifying about the child labor laws and the sweatshops in the countries that make my designer toddler wear.

4) See all of the supposedly dazzling X-Mas window displays while being on a “carried by daddy tour.”

5) Arrange for Rockefeller Center to hold a re-lighting ceremony of their tree for ME to publically flip the switch on The Nightly News hosted by that Brian somebody.

6) Make Nanny live blog on my iPad from the Radio City Christmas Spectacular for ME, Suri Cruise, to complain about how tacky the Rockettes’ shoes are.  What?  Doesn't Louboutin make Taps?

7) Have Mayor Bloomberg provide synthetic snow (if needed) for sleigh ride through Central Park for me and Tom to point and gasp at hobos.

Am I missing anything else?


1 comments so far :

Harper "7" Beckham said...

Michelle Kwan will be teaching me to skate at the 30 Rock rink and I can't even walk yet, bitch.

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