|Don't worry sane people, I got this. XO, Satan.|
Rep. Steve Stockman (R) of Texas announced Monday that he didn’t believe there would be enough insane people who only cared about killing stuff (including President Obama) attending tonight's address and offered Nugent a ticket in the nose bleed seats for the President’s speech about why we are not going to live have through another shit-storm the next 1 to 4 years.
Lucifer told us, “I know what you are thinking! If I was truly good at my job I would have set Ted up as Dick Cheney’s favorite hunting buddy by now. But in reality, Dick can’t even leave his mansion now for fear of being shot or dragged by a pick-up truck by an Iraqi war veteran across U.S. lines to be charged as a war criminal. But I have very special plans for Ted when he gets here. I plan to make him bunk with a singer who is basically the anti-Ted, except for being a total asshole - Pat Boone. And since Boone is a fellow Obama hater yet thinks any guy who has hair that covers their ears is a fag, he’ll be continually cursing Ted to get AIDS and die all over again. It’s a win-win. That should get the Motor City Madman to STFU for once. I have my hopes anyway.”