Monday, April 1, 2013

Huffington Post Staff Room to Close Due to Lohan Photo

New York - All of the Columbia School of Journalism rejects in the Huffington Post staff room responsible for their all-important "side-boob" page were nearly killed in a freak accident today over a picture of soon-to-be porn star actor Linsday Lohan's that was taken this weekend. 

The photo, seen round the world now, been labeled the "Brazilian Bust-Out" caused havoc among the news aggregators when the top tit beta tester's head exploded. One of the hundreds of unpaid HuffPo employees told Unsolicited Drivel, "I was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.  Shards of brain matter and skull were all over our computer keyboards.  This is terrible because we have will now have close down the entire side-boob department because the IT guy quit weeks ago.  He wasn't satisfied with being paid with just the profits he could make by selling Arianna's dog's turds on eBay, so he went back to Pakistan. Quite frankly, I wasn't too thrilled with being paid just with latte foam residue either. And I'd rather chew my own hand off than go work on the 'baby bump' editorial page.  But now that I'm used to working for a shameless publication that resorts to posting phony headlines and trash just to get attention maybe I'll see if the Bravo Channel is hiring.  Maybe it actually pays real money too!"

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