Monday, August 19, 2013

Entertainment Industry Stymied Over Lohan Interview; May Create Award for Best Fake Performance

Hollyweird - Viewers were stunned last night when fading starlet Lindsay Lohan gave her best performance since "Herbie Fully Loaded*" (without allegedly being loaded) while being interviewed by media queen and part-time racial hatred victim (via being deprived of a  $38k handbag), Oprah Winfrey. People were so impressed by Lohan's frankness, particularly her refusal to wear a bra, that the interwebs were buzzing all day!

One industry insider told Unsolicitied Drivel, "That interview was masterful. It almost made the memory of watching Lindsay in Liz and Dick seem like just a bad booze hangover. A Southern Comfort or Tequila hangover mind you, but it's less painful now.  I still am not clear why she hasn't lanced her parents out of her life like the boils on the butts of humanity they are, but she still defended herself splendidly. And she actually made me believe she only 'tried' coke maybe 10-15 times even though everybody KNOWS coke totally works on the very first try! Even if you have the PERSONALITY of a garden slug it will make you believe you are Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde!! I'm so sorry the Emmy awards nominations have already been announced because I feel they should create a special category just for Lindsay; Best Interview Performance by a Grifter Masquerading as an Actress.  In fact, I think she could make it a full time gig. That being said, do you have Katie Couric's number? Now that she and Kim Kardashian are on the outs, an interview with Katie, especially if Katie slams her afterwards, could qualify Lindsay for the creation of this new 'Grifter' Emmy awards category next time around! Better get Ellen DeGeneres to host the Emmys though. She never calls any celebrity on their bullshit."

*Well, technically that was her last "hit" that didn't involve a car...crashing into a 18-wheeler.

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