Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Rep. Barney Frank Will NOT Eat Popcorn and Watch “House of Cards” With You

NOT in Barney's queue!
Washington, DC - The accolades keep pouring in for the first original series by Netflix, House of Cards, but one former U.S. Congressional Representative, Barney Frank (D.,- MA) will not be watching it with you.  Even before the acclaimed series won numerous Emmy nominations, Frank admitted that he only “hate watched” it. Maybe he’s into self-loathing? He stayed in Washington trying make things work  a very long time so our best guess would be: YES.

Frank is rumored to allegedly have said of the series, “It’s not because Kevin Spacey makes my skin crawl. He does and does it very well. And Robin Wright’s character’s fashion sense is to die for!  It just doesn’t depict the way we do business in Washington. Prepare all the currently trendy snacks you want for the House of Cards binge-viewing party. You still won't get my vote.”

We checked in for comment on Frank’s disdain for House of Cards with our resident political analyst.  She told us, “I agree with Rep. Frank. That is not how they do business in DC. Firstly, I can’t imagine a Congressman sleeping with anyone other than a high-class hooker. NEVER a roving reporter who lives with cockroaches because of crippling student loan debt. Secondly, I think we only saw maybe one lobbyist during the entire first season. Usually the reps have to have the pockets on their trousers altered so the K Street parasites can physically massage their ball sacks. And thirdly, they somehow actually got some bills passed in the House. Has that even happened if it didn’t involve screwing women out of their rights, figuratively, or the poor since 2009? Or just voting to repeal bills that have already passed?  If so, I must have missed it.”

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