La La Land: Movie Review - See It !?!

Can you talk about anything OTHER than jazz???

Writer/director Damien Chazelle’s La La Land is an over-sized wad of cotton candy wedged into a Capezio dance shoe that’s one size too small. “Oh, no! She didn’t!” Oh, yes. I just did. I sat down for a holiday movie (to kill off my holiday season as it turns out) inside the Charles Theater in Baltimore City. Outside, the second ‘La’ on the marquee for La La Land was askew. This is when I became suspicious - as is my true nature.

The movie started and I thought, “boy, oh boy! This is going to be like Rent but without the smack addicts! No. It’s not. It will then be like Glee but without the mean people. Nope. Oh… I get it! It’s like those 40s musicals that mom made me watch (not against my will) only without the smokin’ hot Adonis of the Arabesque Gene Kelly!!!” Nope. All hopped-up on sugar (my smack), I decided to take one for my team!

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone go together on screen like ham and cheese. He’s the ham (salty) and she’s the cheese (sharp). But should you see it?

Reasons to see La La Land:

• If you are a fan of the late choreographer Jerome Robbins and will settle for a modern day knock-off this is the MOVIE FOR YOU! Also, if you believe people in LA stuck in an endless traffic jam would leave their hybrid cars to sing and dance together on the freeway, it’s a WINNER.

• If you like red-haired damsels in yellow dresses (where’s Amy Adams?) it’s a FEAST of fashion for the eyes.

•  If you liked Ryan Gosling as that creepy guy from Drive, but prefer to see him looking waaaaay dapper in a suit, RUN! Do  NOT WALK.

• If you love movie musicals, the music for the film will definitely win Oscars. Who knows about the acting and directing? The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences seem like bitchy political f*ckers to me.

• If you are not a composer, but a writer, and wondered if you could write a screenplay, I have good news for you! YOU could have written this movie, without having to attend a writer’s workshop where the teacher only drones on and on about THEMSELVES.

• If you believe there is something known as JAZZ HATER CONVERSION THERAPY and Ryan Gosling can perform that, he’s your man. I love jazz, so his dreamy stare was lost on me.

* If you ever wondered if a director could suck all of the chemistry out of the coupling of Gosling and Stone (which they had in Crazy, Stupid Love) like some mad scientist, you will have your answer!

• If you like seasons (winter, spring, summer and fall) this movie has TONS of them. Even more than the recent Gilmore Girls reunion on the cure for insanity channel - Netflix.

• If you want to see the Eiffel Tower through a window at night - score!

• If you are not sure the person you are dating is secretly batting for the other team, you can find out  if they last for the entire movie.

• If you know your primary care doctor dabbles in musical theater on the side for stress relief and believe there’s a very good chance they took their spouse on a date to see this movie, you can tell them you did too and get a tranquilizer without ANY questions as you now suffer from social anxiety disorder.

So! I have given you plenty of reasons to SEE LA LA LAND! You’re welcome. I thought the movie marquee was strange enough, but after leaving the theater I saw THIS!!! Interesting…