Jenners Continue to Not Deny Impending Divorce

Happily Never After?

Brentwood, CA -  Keeping Up With The Kardashians stars Bruce and Kris Jenner continue to remain silent about rumors of their inevitable divorce despite the fact that every couple who has ever appeared on a reality TV show has inevitably divorced, dating all the way back to the Louds on the the original reality TV series An American Family in the 70s.  Yes, EVERY couple.  Google it.

Self-proclaimed expert on evweything, Barbara Walters, believes the rumor about trouble in paradise for the stage mom on steroids and the former Olympic great are twue, because of the couple's silence on the subject.

We at Unsolicited Drivel have brainwashed ourselves into believing anything Barbara says because she was the first female broadcaster to demand equal pay for equal work.  Be that as it may, we needed to get the inside scoop for ourselves.  A so-called "family friend" of the K. Klan told us:

"Well, it's not like Bruce is uncomfortable being under the spotlight.  He's been in the spotlight for some time and not just on a plastic surgeon's table.  And Kris has finally stopped bragging to him about how she used to bang O.J. Simpson when she was pretending to befriend Nicole.  No need to verbalize it, there's a sex tape.  Kato Kaelin filmed it in exchange for a Big Mac.  I think Bruce is just tired of being Kris' man servant.  Speaking of sex tapes, I heard he had to function as 'Best Boy' in the production of Kim's.  Some of the other unpleasantness he's been subjected to include waxing Khole's back hair, bitch-slapping Kourtney's baby daddy that entitled little prick Scott Disick when he gets too smug and he also had to sign an agreement to sell Kendall and Kylie into white slavery should their reality show ever be cancelled.  So my guess is it's time for Bruce to lawyer up!"

So I Went to Buy Cereal Yesterday...

and saw THIS. Yikes!

Kris Jenner Tweets First Photo of Kourtney’s Fetus

Los Angeles – America’s favorite “momager,” Kris Jenner, has already taken on her next client/media superstar by tweeting a picture of daughter Kourtney’s next child from her ultrasound.

A pal of the former Mrs. Kardashian told Unsolicited Drivel, “It’s never too early for Kris to be looking for her next payday and she couldn’t have been more pleased to find out that Kourtney was carrying a girl this time around with her psycho boyfriend Scott.  If her daughters Kylie or Kendall – I’m not sure which because they all look the same to me – can tweet pictures of their underage scantily clothed bodies from Spring Break, why can’t Kourtney’s little bastard?  Kris had Badgley Mischka come up with the string bikini design for the tot and had a Beverly Hills surgeon with no scruples insert it onto the child in the womb.  Of course grandpa-to-be Bruce Jenner is already flipping out over the child’s tabloid exploitation, but it’s pretty easy to ignore his disgust because he can't move his face due to another bad batch of Botox.  The baby’s picture, which Kris sold to WTF Weekly,  is already trending on Twitter as a hot topic and she may even end becoming the most popular Kardashian of all.  Probably because she can’t talk yet.”