Showing posts with label Syria. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Syria. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Obama Reluctantly Agrees to Deport Miley Cyrus
The leader of the free world stated, "I'm... trying.... to... concentrate.... on... the.... human... rights... nightmare... that... is... Syria... and... all... you.... kooks... uh... Americans... can... talk... about... is... some... half... naked... Disney... future... rehab... patient. You... leave... me... no... choice. Sasha... and... Malia... burned... their... iPods... with... Miley's... songs... on... the... south... lawn... in... a... bonfire... anyway."
We at Unsolicited Drivel couldn't believe it ourselves that TWO DAYS after Cyrus' racy (but actually kind of creepy) performance at the MTV Music Video Awards that she was still the lead story on the morning infotainment shows. Yet how could the president get away with deporting her? We know he can do all kinds of illegal spying and stuff like that, but wouldn't Miley have to agree to self-deport, having been born in a raccoon burrow or somewhere else near Nashville?
We checked in with a regular reader from the current music industry capital city for comment. He told us, "Y'all don't get it. Even though Obomber is Kenyan, he still has absolute power as the president of these here United States. So he went and declared Miley Cyrus to be an 'alien.' Heck, she looks like that Jar-Jar Binks anyhow! So I reckon he can do it. Plus, she done broke her pappy's achy-breaky-heart so many times now, she don't deserve to be with that one-hit wonder Billy Ray. So I reckon that little whore for the camera may as well associate herself with a no-hit wonder like Jar-Jar! All she deserves now. That foamy finger she was masterbatin' with on stage would fit that other alien freak better anyways."
