Los Angeles - Conan O’Brien’s pay to go away day finally arrives when he leaves NBC’s Tonight Show after 7 short months tomorrow night. After negotiating compensation for himself and his crew, it is said that this programming blunder is costing NBC $45 million*. But don’t assume that he will go gently into that good night. Conan has been doing everything in his power to drive up the cost of doing business before his final exit. Just this week, he’s already played royalty hefty Rolling Stones songs on the air and purchased a Bugatti sports car for a segment lasting only about a minute. Who knows how much of that corporate cash he’ll be able to incinerate within the next two nights? All we can report on is what we have found out is being spent behind the scenes so far from a leaked memo:
o Funnybone transplant for Andy Richter: $2.75 million dollars
o Lifetime care anal sac expression for Triumph the Comic Insult Dog: $375,000
o Facial nerve augmentation for Max Weinberg to be able to show human emotions: $325,000
o Purchase of Johnson & Johnson’s KY Division for Masturbating Bear: $15.2 million
o Leaving lousy network of empty suits with dignity in tact: Priceless
Here’s to hoping someone appreciates his talents and hires him to do what he does best - just being
CoCo.
*A cost they will pass on to their advertisers who will pass the cost on to YOU. Everybody loses :(
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