Cybercide Replaces Suicide in Popularity

It really was only a matter of time.  Everything we can do on the Internet is always way more fun than what we can do in than in real life.  Or so we’ve come to believe. The latest example is Internet suicide in the form of wiping out one’s existence from social networking sites. Going through a tough divorce and don’t want the wife to see your Facebook pictures showing you on a yacht with a chick that’s totally hot while she had to date you while you were still riding a dinghy? Need those drunk pictures to disappear?  Never fear! Can no longer Twitter unless you’re bitter?  Then Web Cybercide 1.0 may just be for you.  While suicide has always been a permanent solution to a temporary problem and even worse, a complete and total downer, Cybercide let’s you have all the fun that goes along with faking your own death but not having to remember to cover up stuff that DNA testing and forensic science would reveal anyway.   Now you can scrub yourself from the Internet even easier than scrubbing off your nightclub hand-stamps from 2 weeks ago. We surveyed test users, and those that are particularly vindictive really seem to love it. Once you have all of your Cybercide log-in details, you just click the button labeled “Commit,” as in commit to confirm for your loved ones that you’re a real dip-shit.  You can even leave cryptic messages for them like, “RIP 2 me!  Enjoy waiting the 6-2-8 weeks for the toxicology tests if you ever find my body.” Understandably, social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have been less than thrilled with Cybercide, even blocking the service from accessing their sites.  Cyber suicides committed on the site Linked-In have so far remained undetected.