- The U.S. Navy says it’s ready to end the ban on women in submarines. They have not yet confirmed if they will start a ban on the smell of ass and feet before the chicks board.
- Bristol Palin to appear on the TV show “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” just without playing the “secret” part.
- Mobile phone sales were down in 2009; Dixie cup & string sales were up.
- Charlie Sheen __(fill in the blank/anything goes)__.
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