Take a Phil Chill

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. - Don't even imagine that you will have a chance of getting over seasonal defective disorder yet. As a huge crowd will for some reason gather in butt-ass cold temperatures tomorrow at the crack of dawn while we are just getting to sleep, we predict that Punxsutawney Phil will emerge from his burrow, take a swig of a decaf pumpkin spice frappuccino and see his lousy, furry-edged shadow on Gobbler's Knob.  Thus, predicting six more weeks of listening to other people bitching and moaning about the wintry weather while in line at the Starbucks, then giggling when you see  them walk outside and have their tongues freeze to their i-Phones while still in mid-rant.  Oh, and Happy Groundhog Day!