Captain America Considering Name Change

Washington, DC – Captain America has come out today and said he’s considering changing his name in light of recent events.

In an exclusive interview with Unsolicited Drivel he told us, “I first got the idea after Googling the phrase ‘America is...’ and the first Google autosuggestion I got was ‘America is retarded.’  Obviously, I’m not going to change my name to ‘Captain Retard,' even though it would offend Sarah Palin, which I must confess would be a hoot.  I’m not special needs and I enjoy counting honesty as my most treasured human value.  Mind you, I do still need a dose of my Super-Solider Serum from time to time to stay buff, but I don’t think I want to waste it on you people anymore.  The only threat to America right now is itself.  And the NYPD, of course.  So until you bitches get out there and rally with those Anonymous guys to take back this country, I think I’ll have go with the moniker ‘Captain Retro-America’ which will make folks remember a time when the real threats to America were from our enemies like in the Third Reich, not the people we were suckered into electing to serve on Capitol Hill and those shysters the banking industry.”