She Can Ring Our Bell

Lady Gaga is said to be pretty thrilled about the phenomenal reception that her “Telephone” video has received since its premiere last week.  She took to her Twitter page and official website to thank her fans for their support.  The singer has already reached #1 with the single, her sixth consecutive #1 on the billboard charts, and I continue to be fascinated by her.  It’s like this – she’s the Madonna I’ve always hoped for.  Yes, blasphemy though it may seem, I have never been enamored by, even shocked by Madonna, or could see any talent of hers outside self-promotion.  Okay, she can dance.  And I wish I could learn a few things about shameless self-promotion. But her voice has always sounded like a castrated bumblebee to me.  Not a pleasant sound. My favorite “Madonna Memory” if you will, was shooting a video parody of her with my college roommate gyrating on a washing machine in a laundromat at 3AM singing “Like Detergent.”  THAT, I enjoyed.  Lady Gaga appears to share Madge’s finesse for marketing and even has a leg up - and not just because she’s more creative and an actual musician to boot, but because as Lady Gaga’s choice of costumes often involve her covering her face,  she can even continue to perform well into her twilight years without having to have a botox-injecting butler on call 24/7!  Brilliant!

Let's take a look at some of my favorite moments from her new video.

In this scene, we see her being eco-conscious enough to recycle soda cans for hair rollers.  This appeals to the pioneer woman in me, trying to make due with what’s on hand, and being fan of recycling.  The only thing I don’t like about it, is the thought of the poor girl having to ingest the Diet Coke.  Damn, that shit’s nasty.

 In this scene, I’m sorry, but I have to give her a failing grade.  While a very interesting choice of eyewear, those cigarettes could have been used for barter while in the clink for sexual favors, protection, what have you - and nobody is going to want to smoke them when they are covered with mascara that when lit, will taste like they are inhaling an Exxon/Mobil oil spill.

Another gold star for recycling here.  Plus, she’s helping out a very likely overburdened police force by making their crime scene just disappear.  She's really thoughtful that way, I guess. Boy, could the Baltimore PD use a gal like her!

Okay, I’m going to have to take it on faith that she used yellow mustard to get that hair color, which would be a great, all-natural, non-toxic choice.  Plus, I don’t think Dow Chemical could duplicate that hue.  However, the ozone layer hole, or as I like to call it, "the no-zone in the ozone,"  had to have gotten a good bit larger when she sprayed it into place.  This one’s a toss-up.

Obviously, not only is this outfit a political statement about freedom of fabulous fashion, it’s always nice to see an American flag not burning in effigy or on the news being draped over a you know what after our failure to find you know what in you know where.

Loved to see Beyonce with her “Notorious Bette Page” retro hairdo looking beyond hip.  Also loved to see Beyonce in a video that takes us so far away from the thought of picturing her kissing Jay-Z.  Plus, a glam-pop "Thelma and Louise" are always welcome viewing.

Overall grade for Lady G, Honey B and “Telephone”: A-