Can You Imagine How Much an iPhone Would Supremely Confuse Them?!?

Washington, DC - In a case that's surely a sign of the times, the U.S. Supreme Court is now considering a case involving sexting. In the 'City of Ontario vs. Qwon," the justices have to weigh the privacy of Sergeant Jeff Quon, who used his city-issued pager to send sexually explicit messages to his wife and mistress, then sued the city when his superiors read his steamy missives.

The justices seem to be struggling with technology concepts, at one point asking what was the difference between an e-mail and a pager (Justice Roberts), whether or not you would get a busy signal if you tried to send a message to someone who was themselves sending a message at the same instant (Justice Kennedy), and why someone would need internet service in order to receive messages (Justice Scalia). Other signs that the decrepit duffers (average age: 99-1/2) might not fully be aware of modern technology included Justice Ruth Baider Ginsberg trying to turn one of the pagers sideways to open up the centerfold, Justice Samuel Alito asking if licking the "Send" button is necessary to close an e-mail, and Justice Clarence Thomas, announcing the case was solved after mistaking a crack on the pager screen for a short curly hair.