Beck Surprisingly Okay With Gay Marriage

The half a dozen or so gay people that watch Fox News breathed a sigh of relief last night when Glenn Beck confirmed for his fellow network host Bill O’Reilly that he was not opposed to gay marriage.

Beck told Bill O’, "Honestly I think we have bigger fish to fry. The country is burning down." Of course Beck meant that assessment figuratively, not literally. Our country is not actually on fire, like say, Russia. But it’s circling the drain nonetheless. Beck further added that our country should not be worried about gays and said, "Will the gays come and get us?"

We’re not sure what Beck meant by “come and get us,” but we’ll just assume he meant that gays wouldn’t come curse us out and then steal our beer.

O’Reilly has previously been obsessed about the threat of gay marriage leading to people marrying animals, like a goat, duck or dolphin. We believe he should be concerned about animals wanting to marry people, as with his face, there could be a heard of jack-asses headed right now to pound down his door to propose.