Heidi Montag Did NOT Take French

Of course, the HUGE story today was that self-made-shameless-media-whore Heidi Montag wanted to have her HUGE fake breasts removed, but we think even more compelling is her use faux French.  Why not tweet a "hooked on phonics" version of French you may ask?  After all, everything else about her is phony.  Nevertheless, she makes Paris Hilton look like, well, Paris Hilton.  Even worse than that - I took French for YEARS and now I can't get any of the guys from the Home Depot parking lot to come and clean my gutters.  My bad.