Federal Judge Rules U.S. Military Can No Longer Act Like Douche-bags

A federal judge declared today that the U.S. Military can no longer enforce the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, effectively stripping their ability to behave like intolerant douche-bags.

The U.S. district judge Virginia Phillips issued the ruling that will potentially restore honor to the U.S. Military at home and abroad.  The United States Department of Justice has sixty days to appeal this ruling to restore the level of douche-baggery that was previously accepted for seventeen years.

Unsolicited Drivel caught up with one legal analyst who told us, “It’s a great day for people who are not complete and total boneheads everywhere. I’m not sure exactly what part of the words ‘volunteer army’ our government never understood, but  I guess we’ll just have to add that to the list of the things they don’t understand about the average American patriot.”

(Photo credit via Unsolicited Drivel - Lt. Dan Choi at the DADT Rally 3/10.)