Santa’s Reliance on PowerPoint Likely to Screw Kids This Christmas

North Pole – “Hermie! Set up that projector!!”  Sad, but true, Microsoft’s evil sphere of influence has finally even reached the nether regions of the North Pole, as Santa and his elves have totally fallen under the false sense of reality that can only come from viewing an overblown, under-produced PowerPoint presentation. 

Christmas pundits are fiercly debating that this shift in NPPD (North Pole Policy Dynamics) could prove to be problematic by relying on presenting highly detailed information via only a crappy little slide, as opposed to on the traditional yards long, hand written scroll.  Hermie the elf went on the defensive stating, “But the slides all fly in like Santa on his sleigh, and make dorky little tinkling noises while they do!  My only problem with the program was I couldn’t figure out how to cleverly cram enough text bullets onto the screen to make it even more visually incomprehensible the way the PowerPoint experts in the U.S. military do!”