Season 9 saw ratings drop sharply as new judge Ellen (I am the nicest, most compassionate person on Earth, even nicer than Oprah, get it?) DeGeneres refused to criticize contestants and Simon Cowell, notorious Limey King Snot, was running out of insults and/or bored.
One show insider told us, “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so excited to watch the relaunch of a show that has jumped the shark more times than a sea lion off the coast of San Diego. I’m super-duper-amped up for season 10!”
A writer for Entertain Us Weakly told us, “I’m just looking forward to a fresh new show. It was getting to the point where they would had to have given Simon a sponge-bath with Evian water and dust off his evil man boobs with Shower to Shower live on the air to keep it fresh last season. But I also have to confess that as there is only so much whole note singing that I can take, I would probably love the new 'Idol' more if it was just a flat-out a train wreck. I have pretty high train wreck standards though, so in order to really hold my attention, they’d have to let Steven Tyler snort crushed Lunesta off of J-Lo’s ass.”
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