Morons Briefly Considered Altering Behavior Due to Judge Judy Hospitalization

Los Angeles – Big morons had quite a fright yesterday when they feared that no one would be able to call them out on the carpet condescendingly enough as Judge Judy, aka Judy Sheindlin, was hospitalized for an undisclosed illness.

Sheindlin was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A., Wednesday morning complaining of intestinal discomfort and offered the explanation, “I’m just exhausted, and my body was telling me it needed a day to chill.”

News that the judge was feeling better and would be back on the bench in short order came as a welcome relief to adulterers, stoners, dumb whores, DUI demolition derby drivers, deadbeat dads, schoolyard bullies, tax cheats, spouse abusers, bad debtors, and even scammers.

One moron who was waiting outside the Los Angeles courthouse told Unsolicited Drivel, “I suppose I would have toned down my behavior if there was no chance of it landing me on TV for viewers to ridicule.  I think other morons would probably have followed my lead as well. I believe assholes, and especially total and complete assholes, wouldn’t change anything about their behavior, as they believe they are too cool to be on TV to begin with. ”