Bush Declines Invitation to Ground Zero Bin Laden Ceremony

Crawford, TX – Former President George W. Bush has declined President Obama’s invitation to attend a ceremony at at Ground Zero to mark the death of Osama bin Laden tomorrow.

Speaking from a behind pile of brush on his ranch, Bush told us, “I appreciate the invitation.  I really do.  And I’m sad I won’t be there, but it don’t feel right.  I mean, most Americans wouldn’t even know who that feller Osama bin Laden was if I hadn’t ignored that memo about his plan to attack, so you’re welcome.  And think of all of them jobs I created in Homeland Security too!   But I do believe this is Mr. Obama’s accomplishment.  Takin’ bin Laden out and all.  Out of that mansion he was living in Pakistan that we never found ‘cause Halliburton didn’t have no contracts there.  Yep,  this is clearly a win for the Obama administration.  Despite what that Sarah Palin thinks.  And speakin’ of Sarah, ever since she’s come on the national stage, I don’t hardly have access to Karl Rove to tell me what to think and say because he’s too busy doin’ damage control for our party ‘cause of her.  Damn.  She’s pretty and all, but at times like this I really hate that harpy.”