Wednesday, August 24, 2011

GOP Candidate Michele Bachmann Promises to Restrict Earthquakes to the West Coast

Washington, DC - Politicians promise all kinds of things on the campaign trail to just get elected and now in addition to the promised chicken nuggets and tater tots in all school lunches daily, Rep. Michele Bachmann is promising today to restrict all future earthquakes to the west coast.

“The crack in the Washington Monument from the 5.8 magnitude quake was just too much for our American government to bear.  We have enough that’s already broken inside the Beltway.  So I promise you that under President Bachmann you will see earthquakes restricted only to areas where folks are already too blasé to care about them,” she stated.  “And like my promise of $2 per gallon gasoline, I will see that these seismic disturbances on the west coast are kept to only 2.0 on the Richter scale so they will cause less of a disturbance than a Kardashian wedding.”

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