Barney the Dinosaur Booted From Occupy Wall Street

New York – On the Columbus Day holiday last week and also over this past weekend many children showed up to protest wealth inequality at Occupy Wall Street. The tykes complained that the 1% of the richest Americans are very simply “not sharing.” But one purple protestor, Barney the Dinosaur, was told to “take a hike.”

A witness to the confrontation told Unsolicited Drivel, “Barney had heard the magic word ‘sharing’ on a broadcast news program by one media outlet that actually gets the protest and he felt compelled to show up in Zuccotti Park to announce to the world once again that ‘sharing is caring.’  Like, duh! We get it, dude. It’s probably the simplest message in the world and as progressives we don’t need to be reminded of what we stand for. Plus, most of us grew up with that goofy dinosaur and aren’t in the mood for that brand of flashback.  And due to crass commercialism that purple dorkasaurus is probably worth billions and he didn’t bring a single donation to the cause. We told him if he wanted to stay he had to stand in front of the dude playing the bongos to hide him from the media or get out. Barney wasn’t a fan of improvised percussion, so he just bailed.”

In a related story, we’re told that Spongebob Squarepants has been able to extend his stay at the occupation in Zuccotti Park indefinitely by appointing himself head of the cleaning crew.