Speaking to a TV network in Texas this week, country music legend Willie Nelson said he was “proud” of the Occupy movements, and that the American people have stood up, shown they’ve “finally had enough” and have demanded it’s time for the rich to pay their fair share of taxes. He stated, “I pay my taxes. Well, at least now that I have an accountant who doesn’t confuse peyote buttons for blueberries on his Grape Nuts I do. And some of those guys up there on Wall Street don’t. And those are the ones that I’m pissed off at - the ones that make millions of dollars a year and don’t pay any taxes.”
But as the arrests of occupiers continued in the New York financial district today, at least one fat cat says that despite being a Nelson fan, he believes the majority of his ilk will still never pay up. Hedge fund manager J. Pennypont Edgarton told Unsolicited Drivel, “Willie is an American treasure. No doubt. But he lost his street-cred with us the minute he decided to pay his back taxes. I’ll admit that Willie does still seem pretty keen to us as we believe he probably doesn’t even have to use Viagra to have sex. Most of us haven’t been able to do that since 2008. Be that as it may, until the singer’s name and the words “secret account in the Caymans” come up in the same sentence, we’ll have to stick exclusively to listening what Willie produces that comes out of our Blaupunkts.”
When reached for comment about Edgarton’s remark, Nelson told us that “it was no surprise that greedy a-hole had no desire to change and would just prefer to sit idly by drinking champagne and ignore that the country is providing no solutions for any American less fortunate than himself. And speaking of Americans with no solutions, Nelson also said that he appreciated being able to watch the Republican presidential debates as light-hearted, comedic entertainment while on his tour bus nearly every night. He stated of the forums, “The debates are better than watching Dazed and Confused on a continuous loop, man. I love to watch those candidates scramble to cover their past crazy comments, flip-flops or financial shenanigans connecting them to corrupt lobbyists. It’s the biggest bunch of laughs you can have without being high on custom-cultivated Sensimilla.”
2 comments so far :
The Republicans: laugh at their ridiculousnes, cry at the thought that there is even one single Republican in office.
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