A spokesperson for the center told us, “Dawn Holland clearly violated her confidentiality agreement in speaking publicly about her physical confrontation with Lindsay Lohan and had to be relieved of her post as an alcohol breath fume collector at Betty Ford. Ever since we opened our doors in 1982, the Betty Ford Center has worked tirelessly to protect the privacy of our patients so we can attract the biggest basket cases in the business and collect the highest fees without a facility that looks like Club Med.”
Holland gave an interview to the celebrity reputation slaying website TMZ, claiming that the story was already public knowledge, but it backfired on her, and now the hottest stars in pop music are going to record her a song for quick sale on iTunes. Tentatively titled, Do You Think Dawn Will Have Christmas?, the song will depict the sad story of her scuffle with Lohan and Dawn’s subsequent firing, losing her crappy salary right before the most needlessly expensive holiday of the year.
At press time, the roster of recording stars was not firmed up, but we were able to confirm that Rhianna will NOT be there as she is no fan of recording songs not written especially for HER, but Bret Michaels' sweaty bandana will at least definitely be there. A producer on the project told us, “If Dawn had been savvy enough to carry a camera phone and was able to sell pictures to TMZ, we probably wouldn’t even be considering the project. But she wasn’t and anybody who might have allegedly bitch-slapped Lindsay is entitled to a wonderful Christmas. I think we’ll get a decent turnout of pop artists as most of them with actual talent are still disgusted at Lindsay for being able to record, release and actually sell Confessions of a Broken Heart.”
1 comments so far :
I'm sorry, but Lindsay's 15 minutes were up about 30 seconds ago. Time. No more. Stop now.
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