A spokesperson for the business mogul told Unsolicited Drivel, “Everybody loves Donald Trump as he’s continued to reinvent himself bankruptcy after bankruptcy and has upgraded his wives’ hotness each time as well. We think he will bring a lively, grassroots angle to the GOP debate. And speaking of roots, between Trump, Romney and Ron Paul’s eyebrows it should be one of the more interesting debates from a strictly follicle angle. Too bad Rod Blagojevich is no longer a politico! Expect this debate to be much more like The Apprentice as it will take place at a conference table and be more like a brainstorming session. That will give Rick Perry a chance to show America that his brain still does actually work. Maybe. There will be no trick questions. Like which country does or doesn’t have nuclear weapons? Are you listening Herman Cain? Trump doesn’t even care if any of them can pronounce the word ‘nuclear.’ Should he get back in the race himself, he’d only nuke North Korea anyway. I expect the Donald will primarily just want to know what the candidates’ plans are for penalizing China for taking such advantage of the U.S. financially. Donald had proposed a 25% tariff on all of their imports and also insisted that they use their own products at home and resume binding their feet again. This Trump debate should be a really exciting event. Now if we can just get through the weekend without Newt Gingrich firing all of the other candidates first!”
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