Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Economic Indicators Point to Santa Instead of Government as One of Biggest Job Creators This Year

North Pole – Economists are reporting today that with the exception of Facebook and excluding all the makers of “smart phones,” that Santa Claus is the big winner in job creation this year.

One elfin economist told Unsolicited Drivel on behalf of the jolly old soul, “Despite the fact that the Federal Government has been claiming to create jobs for all of 2011, movements such as Occupy Wall Street have clearly proved at the end of the calendar year that our lawmakers have been complete failures.  If we leave out that Mark Zuckerberg kid from the equation, the late Steve Jobs, Samsung, and all the makers of the Android type phones, Santa’s definitely been the most productive job creator this year employing hundreds of thousands of elves to make toys.  However, we do have a concern that the government will still try and take credit for these jobs Santa created, as they are responsible for maintaining America’s schools.  And with their track record in education as of late, and the way they treat our teachers, our kids haven't been learning anything new.  So we’re just sitting up here pretty much exclusively making Elmo dolls year after blessed year.  There’s a huge demand that never goes away. Seriously, that’s all we make.  Our hope is maybe Speaker Boehner won’t notice and try to steal our credit because Elmo’s face isn’t orange.”

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