Thursday, January 19, 2012

Rick Perry Shocks Voters By Dropping Out of Presidential Race They Already Thought He Had Quit

Columbia, SC – Texas Governor Rick Perry is expected to be dropping out of the GOP 2012 presidential race today a full two weeks after people believed he had thrown in the saddle blanket.  Perry is planning to speak to an empty parking lot at the Piggly Wiggly some time around 11am and like fellow quitter, Sarah Palin, it is believed he’s going to endorse Newt Gingrich simply because he’s not Mitt Romney.

An aide in Perry’s camp told Unsolicited Drivel, “I know most of America thought he dropped out after Iowa when we used the word ‘reassess’ in regard to Rick’s campaign. I’ll tell you it was pretty tough on his ego to lose the Iowa caucuses not only to the other candidates, but also to write-in votes for a truckload of corn and a ball of lint on Rick Santorum’s sweater vest.  We thought for sure Rick’s down home charm would appeal more in the Deep South, but apparently we were wrong.  We think the problem is that he’s not able to execute anybody along the campaign trail to bolster his popularity the way he does back home in Texas when his approval rating’s in the shitter.”

1 comments so far :

Shlomo Seltzsershetstein said...

If he executed a prisoner during one of those toopid debates, the crowd would have cheered him.

Post a Comment

opinions powered by SendLove.to