Cory Booker is NOT Nauseated by Obama

Newark, NJ – Newark's mayor and part time superhero Cory Booker appeared on Meet the Press (or as it’s known in our household, Me Depressed) yesterday to supposedly further his career and infuriate other black people by criticizing President Obama.  When asked about the Obama campaign’s attack on Mitt Romney making his investors rich by ruining livelihoods of regular Americans via Bain Capital, Booker stated that the attacks on private equity were “nauseating.”  Booker added that pointing out the fact that Mitt Romney was a self-involved rich bastard who fills his Jacuzzi with the tears of poor people was like the Republicans' tactic of pointing out Obama’s involvement with the controversial Reverend Jeremiah Wright in the 2008 campaign. (???)

24 Hours later, Booker’s camp is insisting that his comments were misconstrued and the Obama campaign does not make him want to have a Pepto Bismol martini at the end of the day after saving old ladies while pretending to be from the ‘hood.  A spokesperson for the mayor told Unsolicited Drivel, “Cory totally misspoke.  He didn’t mean to say that he was nauseated by Obama’s campaign. He actually meant to say that with his own approval of the extension of the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% and all of his ties to his fat cat friends from college on Wall Street, that as an alleged Democrat, he really nauseates himself.  It was just a simple slip of the tongue. And Cory regrets bringing up Republicans’ issues with Reverend Wright.  I mean Jeremiah’s got some pretty extreme views and has said things even crazier than they have on the right.  So in hindsight, we’re no longer sure why they bothered to criticize him when they could have been recruiting him.”