“Mad Men” Creator Promises Pete as Permanent Punching Bag on Season Six

Los Angeles – “Mad Men” fans are still reeling from their disappointment in a somewhat ho-hum season finale.  Some have even written about their frustration with the show via Twitter.

 @lightweightcomparedtosterling wrote: “I’m not sure if I was already too drunk by trying to keep up with the characters’ drinking habits on the show to follow the subtle nuances that bloggers make up about the plot the next day, or if that was just really f*cking boring?”…and…@girlwhocantgetadamnshoecommercial wrote: “Why did Megan suddenly morph into a such a back-stabbing bitch? Is it because Don always keeps her barefoot even though she refuses to get pregnant?”….and....@fattybetty wrote: I wanted to develop bulimia!...and…@Joansjuggs4ever wrote: “Couldn’t you at least have killed Joan’s husband in Vietnam? WTF?!?”

The show’s creator Matthew Weiner is accustomed to criticism from the media, but perhaps not so much from his fans.  We have concluded that he is very upset, because in an extremely uncharacteristic move the usually secretive Weiner has leaked some details about season six, which will maybe go into production just as soon as Bryan Cranston’s character on “Breaking Bad” finally blows himself up in a meth lab and no longer requires a paycheck.

The source of these details, an actor on the show with an oddly creepy mustache, about whom we will only say that his character's name rhymes with “Schmen,” told Unsolicited Drivel, “Dad…I mean Matthew really wasn’t prepared for the backlash from the last episode.  Hey, Peggy was back on after all.  Anyway, the episodes that rated highest in season five were the ones where the Pete Campbell character got punched.  That weasel should have been beaten previously in every season. If they had done that we might not have had such a long hiatus between seasons 4 and five.  I got pubes during that all time!   So look for Pete to get beaten regularly like a gong in season six to distract from the fans’ disappointment in Don’s resuming womanizing, Joan reconciling with her misogynist husband, Harry Crane not dying of scurvy, Peggy becoming a tobacco executive, and Roger Sterling retiring to become a peyote farmer in New Mexico. But you didn't hear it from me!”