NBC to Host Telethon to Maybe Aid Hurricane Sandy Victims

We're so compassionate!?!

New York - NBC Universal is planning to host a telethon as soon as they can pull a production staff together and try and lure stars like Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, George Clooney, you know, the usual suspects….to help raise money to aid the victims of Hurricane Sandy.

The program, which they will not share with other networks (because of advertising revenue) is tentatively titled "Coming Together" and will not feature Beatles music because they are British dudes and also due to NBC's shitty programming over the years, they could never afford the music rights anyway.

An intern at the peacock network, who asked not to be named, told Unsolicited Drivel, "It's hopefully going to be a star-studded show and at least, unlike with Hurricane Katrina, we won't have any fear of Kanye West stomping up on the stage and proclaiming 'President Obama hates black people!' I cannot guarantee that will mean there will be no Kardashians on the broadcast.  Sorry.  You have no idea how sorry I am about that.  I can tell you the show will be hosted by Matt Lauer…which kind of leaves me scratching my head.  I mean if they wanted to do a show about victims, why didn't they just hire Ann Curry to host it?"