Tuesday, November 27, 2012

“Two and a Half Men” Actor Angus T. Jones Can’t Wait to Be Unemployed

Take my job...please!
Los Angeles – Yet another actor, this time one who is not snorting coke off of a hooker's butt and may or may not have pubes yet, has come out and criticized the sitcom "Two and a Half Men"– this time as “filth.” And not just because of having to wear goofy bowling shirts that make him look like a drugged out/sex-crazed version of “Seinfeld’s” Kramer while still collecting an astronomical paycheck, whereas the Kramer character actor was paid in fruit. Allegedly.

Angus T. Jones, whose youngster character Jake Harper has joined the Army in season 9 so he cannot be all that he can be but get paid for it, recently slammed the cash cow/sexist sitcom after making it clear he’s found God.  This is the second time that producer Chuck Lorre has had a cast-mate of “Men” bite the hand that feeds them clean off (see: Charlie Sheen meltdown of 2011) but Unsolicited Drivel has been assured that Mr. Lorre has a closet full of prosthetic hands for just such cases of insubordination.

A Hollywood insider on the “Men” set told us more about Jones’ remarks stating, “I guess collecting a huge paycheck for catering to the lowest common denominator is not was Jesus would do. Hey, I’m not actually sure Jesus collected a paycheck at all.  He probably worked pro-bono.  Kirk Cameron tried to fill the void for ‘God Squad Actor whose opinion shouldn't matter but is on a morality rampage regardless' earlier this year, but nobody really remembers his series ‘Growing Pains’ because they didn’t have any sexual innuendo so he couldn’t get his paranoia across.  But if Angus really wants to live up to Kirk’s example he’ll also have to become a homophobe – which would be bad for the gays, but give the make-up and costume crew an excuse to finally give him the nickname ‘Anus’ which they've putting off doing for 9 seasons already.”

1 comments so far :

Charlie S. said...

I thought his name was "Anus" for the last 8 years...You mean it's not??

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