Thursday, January 10, 2013

Britney Spears to X-Factor – Imma Quittin’ This Bitch, Y’all!

Kiss mah funny face goodbye!
Los Angeles – America’s favorite pop tart Britney Spears is rumored to be leaving the next season of “The X-Factor” despite her $15 million paycheck.

A source close to the judge who made the most hilarious faces on the whole-note singing show told Unsolicited Drivel, “I know what you are thinking, Simon Cowell having bigger breasts than Brit made her jealous and drove her away. That is not the case at all. She's kind of given up on looking hot anyway.  Britney loves Simon dearly and she also loved to hear Demi Lovato’s stories about self-mutilation and eating disorders too and will consider those as a coping tactics next time she goes off her meds.  I wish I could tell you that she’s quitting to spend more time with her kids, Tater Tot and Sweet Pea if she's allowed to, or finally marry that manager of hers,  but she really just to wants to get back into the recording studio.  Even with bands like One Direction and Justin Bieber and Madonna’s recent tours, Brit’s worried there still isn’t enough music out there on iTunes that sounds totally and completely manufactured by greedy studio executives and she’s happy to comply to keep really cool, original bands like the Black Keys from sneaking up the billboard charts.  She feels it’s her civic duty actually.  You can quote me on that y’all.”

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