Lindsay and Dina Lohan Set to Receive Coveted “Fammy” Award

Celebrating overachievers!

Long G’Island, New Yawk – Unsolicited Drivel has learned exclusively that a newly created annual achievement award, the Fammy, will be bestowed upon Dina and Lindsay Lohan. Michael Lohan will not be invited to the awards ceremony when it takes place later this month as he has been an absentee father and the awards committee decided that rage tweeting and talking to the gossip site TMZ did not meet their requirements.

The foreclosure letter on the Lohan’s Long Island mansion which arrived this week (not likely from the U.S. Postal Service) due to them putting all their mortgage money up their noses or into nightclubs clinched the award for “Most Dysfunctional.”

A judge on the Fammy panel told us, “Also in consideration were the Hulk Hogan family, the Honey Boo Boos, primarily for that mutant finger baby they've got, and those people on ‘Shahs of Sunset’ who can’t stop saying the word ‘whack.’ Surprisingly, the Kardahsians were not in the running because the committee was in total agreement that they are merely spoiled whiners. We hope Lindsay and Dina will be as proud to receive the award as we will be to present it to them. Although it’s kind of large.  It HAD to be.  So I hope it will fit in whichever neighbor’s crawl space they end up living in like that guy in the movie ‘Bad Ronald’ did”