Apple too Sexy for Itself

"Hey Mom!  There are hot Russian Brides and Smooth Asian boobs on my iPad!!"  Apple Computer has finally figured out that if its marketing plans for the iPad device are to revolve around families and schools, they might want to clean up their acts by cleaning up their apps!  The App store currently offers some 140,000 programs, and Apple has begun notifying application developers of adult-themed materials that might be considered too suggestive to tone it down.  Adult themed applications where you can still lie about “just reading them for the articles,” like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit app, or the Playboy Magazine app, will still be allowed.  However, Playboy apps with young girls (who could have just been introduced to their Aunt Flo as recently as last month) being pictured snuggling up to Hugh “Methuselah” Hefner, will NOT be allowed as no one at Apple wants to traumatize the teens. Life is traumatic enough. Satirical apps that mock public figures may still be allowed, as there are those who argue that children will be more rounded emotionally if they figure out the people in charge are typically hypocrites early on in their development. No word at press time on whether Upskirt apps will still be allowed for devices shipped to students at Catholic schools.  Hot Russian brides will always be available, but now only via home computer, and likely available without parental consent for the teen boys to marry.