Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Limbaugh Citizenship to Be Revoked for Misinterpreting Beyonce Lyrics

Jerusalem - President Obama took time out of his busy schedule of making Israel’s President Benjamin Netanyahu seem less evil today to attend to a more pressing matter – revoking Rush Limbaugh’s citizenship over his Beyonce flub.

Because Limbaugh has been married four times and doesn’t have the first clue about how a woman’s mind works, he praised the R&B superstar for the lyrics in her new single “Bow Down / I Been On” thinking it meant she was either submissive to her husband Jay-Z, or would be submissive to him should she actually be in the same room with him ever in his lifetime which is about as likely as Limbaugh being hit by a meteor.  But unfortunately Limbaugh only listened to 15 seconds of the song, the same amount of time it takes him to climax, so he never got to the lyric about Beyonce being more than “his little wife.”

A spokesperson for Obama told Unsolicited Drivel, “The President had plenty of time to sneak in revoking Limbaugh’s citizenship because of the huge gaps of time he had in trying to gain the trust of the Israelis.  Beyonce is the equivalent of our Duchess Kate in this country so something had to be done to about his disrespectful remarks quickly.  So expect to see Rush’s name and the words ‘unlawful combatant’ come up in a memo soon.  Like half and hour ago!  At least Rush will enjoy the Cuban cigars at Gitmo!”

1 comments so far :

George Stephanapopodopolopolous said...

I think the chances of him being hit by a meteor are significantly higher. He fat.

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